Fi-fishing in Breteuil

The Renaissance humanist writer, François Rabelais said that laughter is the mark of humanity. In that case I’m having an on, off, very-on crisis of humanity here in Breteuil.

Rabelais was one of those betwixt figures, an ex-monk, lawyer and doctor before he found his feet as author of Pantagruel and Gargantua, long held as one of the greatest of novels, early or not. His catch-phrase was fais ce que voudras – do whatever you like. He’d shoot ads for Nike these days.

Breteuil was an overnight stop for Tom, one of his “meane and ignoble places,” that he describes only in terms of ruins. I quite like the place; it is quiet and the people more guarded than Amiens, but once again, it understands itself. Apart from the relation of a railway station to the town centre: Breteuil station is seven kilometres away from the town.

“Politics,” Peter, an American-Norwegian, says as he waits. “Some official there who didn’t want to see trains.” He’s at the station to meet a French social worker who comes down from Paris once a week. He offers a lift without question. “Many people make this mistake,” he says, in a “Dutch” accent. He lives nearby. When we part he worries I’ll have nowhere to stay, hands me his numbers.

There is no problem with the hotel room, just lunch. It is two and – unlike anywhere else in town – the dinning room is humming with “Burghers” in lunchtime fineries, (one is the double of the deadly VP in “24”, his ancient friend has an endearing ash-blonde ponytail) and all are eating what looks very good food. I get the purse-lipped “closed” from Brett One, the man behind the bar, and when I sit down despite this and get out a map the entire room gives me a master-class in snow-blinded self-importance. It’s only a McQueen leather jacket.

Brett Two and Les Burgher-Roi

There is a half an hour of absolutely no eye contact in a room the size of a medium-sized kitchen before the accident. “You want something?” Brett Two says, tricked into looking at me.

Later I double-check the times for dinner. “7.30 to nine. Then closed. The television is good tonight,” Brett One says. And Rabelais’s dictum kicks: he laughs, I laugh. We are human again.

But not for long.

The ebb and flow of laughter moves through me as upstairs I fish for wi-fi in my room. It is utterly unexpected, but suddenly I have three potential signals: I stalk my room over and over, a hungry Ahab in search of his whale. Call me Email.

The networks drift by and occasionally take the bait, but never let themselves be reeled in. “Lipsky, Neuf987, and Orange all play the Communication Coquette, allowing a few pages of download (farewell: Cutty Sark; adieu French-American concert in Paris) but never the right ones.

In the recent century studies of Rabelais have increased greatly: his writings never seeming more modern. The Russian critic and Dostoevsky scholar, Michael Bakhtin, was fascinated by Rabelais: he said that “to be human was to laugh,” though he believed that we’ve lost the ability to laugh at important things, and so we stick to the trivial. If we don’t know what is sacred any longer, how can we laugh at it – and prove our humanity?

By dinner – at 7.30 prompt – I am laughter-lite once again, tired from all the fi-fishing. I sit alone and order. The pate arrives on a square glass plate with: jam, brown sauce, pecan ice cream, cooked chives, red peppercorns, sea-salt. Is this a Rabelaisian moment to laugh out loud?

A short man enters, ignores everyone except me: I get a nervous “bonsoir.” He sits at a table for one where a half-decanter of red wine is waiting. He has nothing to read, no cigarettes to amuse him. He pockets a roll from the basket in his jacket pocket so badly it is an insult to the word “furtive.” He downs some wine. A fish dish arrives at his table without prompting, and unacknowledged by Bretts One, Two, or the Mysterious Man Himself. He nods his head and shakes his shoulders in time with a French jazz version of “I Could Have Danced All Night,” and then mutters through his fish. He talks himself into getting his countryman’s jacket back on, finishes the wine, and without a thank you or good evening he (and his bread roll) are vanished into the night.

Can I laugh now?
Non.

Brett Two is the Boss. He picks up the fat cat that has circled my table for hours: take it, pate with jam and chives – take it now, big pussy.
“This is my cat,” Brett Two says. He’s from Biarritz, Brett Two. No wonder he’s in Rabelasian Denial. “This is Pepper.”
“Pepper?”
“Non! Pepper.”
Bien.
It’s nine in the evening, television time for the Two Bretts. In a reflection at the window I can see myself. I’m not laughing.

In “Europe”, the historian Norman Davies wonders if Rabelais “was not the last European to be truly human.”

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Writers Coming Soon

It was Godard, or Truffaut, both, who said: you can never
go wrong with an umbrella

I will be writing about Verne & Hugo, Montreuil & Amiens soon: social novels and the fantasticke take time.

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Sans CAD-CAM?

Amiens

On July 7th, that is 7/7/7 – one of those Dan Brown numbers – the results of the new Seven Wonders of the World competition will be announced. The short list includes The Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas, the Mall of America, that Gherkin…actually it doesn’t, but one day…

It takes four visits to begin to grasp the enormity of achievement that is Amiens Cathedral. The thing is a beast: like some prehistoric creature that time forgot. People started building this in 1220. In thirteen years that makes it 800 years old. Even calming down and contemplating the finished article, around 1450, say – these things evolve – its creation is an act of pure awe. If memory is remembering then, now, but with all of our conceptions since, then the first question must be: how did they do this without computers?

Visiting Tom got the travelling vapors for the first time:

The Cathedral Church of this Citie is dedicated to our Lady, being the very Queene of al the Churches in France, and the fairest that I even saw till then. This Church was built by a certaine Bishop of this Citie, about foure hundred years since, whose monument is made in brasse at the west end of the Church, with certain Latin inscriptions about it; but such is the strangeness of the character, I could not understand it.

….The principallest relique that is kept in this Church is the forepart of St. John Baptists head, which is inclosed in a peece of gold that is beset with many precious stones. Againe, the same peece of gold is put into another rich Cabinet, made of crystal; out of the which it is taken whensoever it is shewed to any strangers or any other: it is never shewed but at sixe of the clocke in the morning, in a certain little high Chappell, consecrated to that purpose…

and rightly so: this is a wonder of someone’s world.

“They go in, they click, click, click, they buy my coffee.” Patrick sounds as if this is a bad thing: it is his coffee shop that we congregate afterwards, but there is hurt pride in his voice. Amiens Cathedral demands time. I give it hours.

When we visit churches what do we seek? On my first visit there is a service, a woman priest. The hymms have a curiously modern melody that sounds like a choral version of the songs in “Les Damoiselles de Rochfort.” Liturgical Legrand, I guess. And all around the pews we scurry: the stained glass is too far away, the paintings dark. There is an audio guide but few bother. We come together – this is a church – and we remain apart. All there is really is massiveness, light and shade. The form outweighs the function so heavily Le Corbuiser might scream.

The Victorian author-critic John Ruskin loved this place, helped him to form his over-arching aesthetic of the Gothic. He was one of those few that changed the way we see things; to this day people flock to lectures on his vision: of art, literature and architecture. Ruskin will return.

On Monday morning I have the place to myself, the only sound that staple of Mondays in every major city: construction work, the clang of girders, ladders; cranes spinning like El Greco ice skaters. Here it is work on the east wing. This is my chance to imagine Tom for the first time, gazing up and thinking – surely – this is impossible. For days know I’ve wondered what must have been going through his head as he “walked” on horseback. I think today’s sight must have shaken him: for any building of this size comes with a preternatural power, for good and bad. I’ve watched the light blaze through the stained and not-stained glass at four times of day; on each occasion the mood here is different, however many of us are inside consuming the experience. This is a building of a black and white God; of absolutes. Here we are dwarfed, perhaps as Chantall was in the dessert oasis. Except that here there is language, sculpture, paintings, architecture. And its collective imperative is: have wonder.

Believe.

I feel Tom must have known then that England wasn’t everything. But then he wouldn’t have been travelling if he’d thought that. However much he kept it under his hat.

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Downtown

I choose the Baroque café in Amiens, right by the Somme, because Tom Coryat was active in Europe in the “Baroque” era, the history book tells me. I must research this. Here all is riverside cafés, Cathedral views, and Pink Floyd. “Wish You Were Here.” It reminds me vividly of the center of Ljubljana.

Sunday night: all is quiet but the coach party-people.The centre an oasis.

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Missed it


The two most terrifying words in the English language are “clown” and “Toby.” Toby is a “Clown contemporain”. He played last night in Amiens. I watched Rugby League.

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Hollywood:Amiens


Suzanne

At the good cake shop on a somewhat soulless, very wet, pedestrian drag and I’m talking Izzard and getting confusing instructions from the cake ladies for la Maison de Jules Verne, the Around the World in Eighty Days man who lived here almost fifty years. An elderly French blonde woman tiny beneath a massive umbrella takes my arm, “I’ll drive you,” she says, “it’s too complicated to explain”.

We Izzard, and she asks where I’m from. “English? But my husband is American, I speak English.” We drive around the city in the rain, the traffic here is in “permanent crisis” Suzanne says. There are about six cars that I see, Straus plays on the hi-fi. Suzanne was a social worker before she retired, working with children in Amiens’ school system. “I liked it, but they have many problems these days.”

Suzanne Redmond’s family knew an American man during the Second World War. They kept in touch afterwards: their daughter eventually married the Redmond’s boy, Steve. She was born in Amiens; shows me the street, the hospital now a BestWestern hotel. The name Redmond is Irish, Suzanne says, but Steve is from Los Angeles. He was in the film business.
“In France?”
“No, no. Hollywood. He was a camera man.”
She asks where I am from.
“London.”
“We’re so closed here, I have never been to London and it is so close; my daughter, sure: she travels everywhere with her work. But not me.”
“But you saw Hollywood?”
“Oh yes, we lived in the hills in LA for quite a time.”
“And any films I would know?”
“You’ve heard of Clint Eastwood? He was a friend of Steve’s. We all went to Switzerland, where was it? You know, the Eiger.”
“Ah, that would be “The Eiger Sanction”.”
“Yes, that’s it. The Eiger Sanction.Steve had a small part in it as well. He was the first character to die.”

Jules Verne is not Suzanne’s favourite writer, “but, oh, what must have been in his head. Where do you go, next?”
“Eventually Venice.”
“Very beautiful, Venice. Especially for the Film Festival.” Where this years retrospective in on Spaghetti Westerns. “Of course,” says Suzanne.

If only I had Jules Verne’s imagination to make this up. “Enjoy your adventure,” Suzanne says, but I am enjoying it too much already.

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Real Walkers

Amiens, up early for Church

Les and Pamela have been visiting Australian war cemeteries in the Somme for a week. They’re from London. They like the café we’re sitting in because it isn’t fake, is logo-lite. “Not like those in the city centre, I didn’t like those at all,” Pamela, the Australian, says. “It’s going that way everywhere, isn’t it? Uniformity. Dijon was nice though, different.”

Les is a walker. He edits the South East Rambler magazine in England and it is taking up more and more of his time. He’s been walking since his teens when there was a weekly walk column in the now-defunct “Evening News”. “I used to take the walk every week, the author of the column encouraged me,” he says.

Les once walked from Dieppe to Paris, it took a fortnight. He has stayed in Montreuil, but doesn’t understand the bikers. “Walking gives you a chance to experience something, to feel closer,” he says. “Bikers…I don’t understand it. Passing time, I suppose.” And walking you can drink a little more, of course.

Head out for the Highway: looking for adventure

Pamela has worked on several newspapers in London, The (now-defunct) European…hmm…and The Guardian – which she remembers for the champagne on Thursdays (readers insert joke). She reads the Telegraph now. “20,000 people died at one battle, can you imagine that?” she says. “I don’t think we should be at war now.”
“Harry isn’t,” I say.

“Nobody listens any more,” Les says. “We had the biggest demonstration ever against war – nobody listened. I don’t agree with fox-hunting but they have a good lobby. What happens? Nothing, it was banned. Nobody listens.”

There is a sign in the centre of town informing visitors there are 48 CCTV cameras in operation.

I once interviewed the American academic, Benjamin Barber, a historian of American democracy and constitution. He’d become famous for one of those cross-over books, McWorld vs Jihad, that spoke to the times. He posited the problem of democracy thus: it begins locally, in small ways, just as it did in classical times. In this case: in the town hall or the local community. But these kinds of meeting were not meaningful any longer, government higher up was in charge and “not listening”: Barber held great hope for the internet’s power to shape democratic change, though he was very worried about its power to “infantilize” us as well, to pare down to black and white views.

Pamela likes to photograph food and drink when she travels. If it is good, it gets a snap. She remembers a particularly good hot chocolate in Salford, Lancashire. “People think I’m crazy, but I love it.” She takes a picture of her coffee. One for the virtual scrapbook.

Les returns with his change. “I’ve paid,” he says.
“I always love the hear that,” Pamela says. She likes to “research things,” and gives me the e-mail for a hostel in Monmartre, and the address of a Quaker House café and restaurant near the British Library. “Where were we before Google?” she asks.
“We didn’t exist,” I say.

“I don’t usually like churches,” Les says, looking at Amiens cathedral in the rain. “But this one is something else.”

“John Keats was a walker,” Pamela says. “But he died young.”

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Turf & Numero Neuf

Picquigny

Civilized Saturday mornings at the Bar Terminus, betwixt Picquigny train station and the main street (where village quiet is vaguely distracted by a modern – albeit closed – Homeopathy shop). High on the hill, a Chateau; all around the periphery, war cemeteries filling with people. Here in the Terminus all is handshakes and kisses; non-stop banter – even with Eddie Izzard-in-France me.

There is sparkling wine to down, lotto tickets to buy. “I have no chance,” says Yvonne, “I choose my telephone numbers these days, that way if I win I can afford the bills.” She’s going to the Jules Verne clinic in Amiens next week. “It doesn’t exist,” says Francis the owner, bringing laughter. Perhaps it is at the Centre of the Earth.

Francis wears a “Walking Man” t-shirt. It as, as Robert Langdon might say, “significant.”
“Moi aussi,” I say, “I’m walking to Venice.”
“It’s just a t-shirt; tomorrow the garden,” Francis says, rubbing a beer belly.

It is a morning for chance: not just the lotto, but scratch-cards for Bingo and Sudoku – even Scrabble. I boggle at the chances of scratching off a triple word score with “x” and “z”. On the bar are several copies of “Paris Turf,” the daily racing guide. Men and women enter to drink, consider the form pen in hand, and then wander off to make their bets. Down the bar one middle-aged man scratches card after card.

Rien.

Later on Canal Plus is Manchester United versus Chelsea, the English FA Cup final: more gambling opportunities to come. “A match of revenge,” Francis says, calling out his teenage daughter Charlotte to show me the Amiens football club shirt she is modelling. “Third division,” he shrugs. I am reminded of Crystal Palace for a brief and wistful moment.

On the obligatory ignored television in the corner is a moment of civilisation clash – Samuel Huntingdon would be proud. Whilst games show contestants go through their moves The Clash sing “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” Upstairs in Rock Heaven Joe Strummer lights a spliff with Jimi or Jim or John and whistles a bar of “Career Opportunities,” and all’s almost all right with the world.

Picquigny was an overnight stop for Tom Coryat. I’m sure he liked it here, the people are friendly, everyone shakes my hand and says hello. Yvonne notices this, “everybody does it,” she says, as if this is strange. “Are you German?”
“Anglais.”
“You look German, but not tall enough…or red.”

At The Treaty of Picquigny, drawn up in 1475 between England and France. The French King Louis XI paid our boy, Edward IV, 75,000 crowns and a yearly pension “thereafter” of 50,000 crowns to hold off his claims to the French throne and stay put in England. These days English Steady-Eddies use similar city bonuses to fly-drive and buy estates around here, no doubt.

But I don’t think they’d like the Bar Terminus, it is too full of community; it knows what it is – the heart-beat of the village. Madame “Lolo,” – Laurent, Francis’s wife (in Las Vegas t-shirt) checks the train time-table for me, shakes my hand. I explain the trip, Tom Coryat, walking (in the modernist manner – sometimes on trains). “Ah, you are crazy,” Francis says. “Now I understand.”

I shake everyone’s hand again. Francis gives me a house pen. “For the writer.” On the train to Amiens everyone in my compartment – everyone – is plugged into an I-Pod. Some even share.

Must be a student town, Amiens.

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Tom Today

I went from Abbevile about one of the clocke the same day, and came about eight of the clocke in the evening to a country village in Picardy called Picquigny, fourteene miles there hence distant. Most of the country betwixt these places is exceeding fertill, having as faire meadows, and fruitful corne fields as I saw in all France. After I had traveled sixe of those fourteen miles, I overtook a certaine Frier, attired in white habites, whose name was Carolus Wimier: I walked with him as far as Picquigny: he was Ordinus Praemonstratensis, a young man of the age of two and twenty years, and a pretty Latinist: he went to Amiens to be fully confirmed in his Orders by the Bishop of Amiens. I found him a very good fellow and sociable in his discourses; for he and I were so familiar, that we entered into many speeches of divers matters, especially of Religion, wherein the chiefest matter that we handled was about the adoration of Images.

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Kitty, Esra and Chantal: a pit-stop

Abbeville

Kitty, Esra and Chantal grew up in Dreumel, a Dutch village; they were close for a long time, but with college they grew apart, coming together again at the funeral of Kitty’s father, ten years later. Nothing had changed, they began to meet regularly, to cook and talk; soon to travel together, not building their friendship but evolving it: this friendship has roots.

Now in their thirties they all live and work around the town of Breda. Esra is expecting a child.

Abbeville is the lunch-time pit-stop of their latest weekend break from Holland, Kitty says; tonight they will be together in Ault, or Le Trépart. “Eating fish, maybe we’ll rent some bikes.”
“At least the weather is good, and the people are so much more friendly than in Holland. It rains there, and people are closed, it is too cold.” Esra says. “Dining and wine, and laughing, the weather…” Chantal says, that’s what is needed.

They found the Bed & Breakfast at Ault with the internet, know nothing about it except that it is confirmed. This is an adventure: not necessarily of place but of renewed connection. What is “there” can only be a bonus. Good food and drink, conversation, and they are content.

English is a given in Dutch education, and they are fluent: are mildly surprised that in Northern France the bug for English hasn’t caught on everywhere. “To graduate in Holland we must have English,” Kitty says. “It’s the language of the world now, and computers.”

Kitty makes the signage and the interiors for shops. “Someone else does the psychology and the marketing, I make what they need.” But she, like Esra and Chantal, is not happy about the way the world evolves. “When I was a child I went to the grocery store and there were three or four kinds of yoghurt; now there are fifty. It is too much, we don’t need it all.”

Chantal agrees. “Too much choice. Once, you went to the meat shop, the vegetable grocer, the fishmonger, cheese…now you visit one hyper-market where everything is about choice and speed.”

“It’s business,” Kitty says. “I often say to my mother, ‘I wish I had been you, born after the war, growing up in the sixties and seventies’. That was a ‘real’ life. This – us – it is all too much.”

But what would that have meant? “I’m 34, that means I would have been married, had children, a house. No job. But there was a logic.” Kitty says. “They had a great marriage – we were lucky, so many end up in divorce.”

They think Amsterdam has grown like London, or Paris. “Too expensive for real life,” Chantall says.

Our times do see progress though, Kitty says. “My father, he was ill for a while. Mentally unwell, he was so ashamed to go into a hospital. When I told him I was going to a psychiatrist he said: ‘I am so proud of you, confronting your problem.’”

The women get together because it is fun, freedom; they can talk at a natural rhythm. “In Breda we have jobs, lives. It is all too busy,” Esra says. “When we come away we can just be.”

Chantal says that she was most happy in Egypt and India: each place gave her something unique. “India showed me other ways. Yoga, the spiritual, but perhaps the best was the desert in Egypt. The people were so friendly, and we were away from everything – the tourists, people. Even language. We didn’t need language, we just needed to see and experience.”

I too have felt that feeling: away from it all – the tourists, commercialism, language – and have heard so many of us telling similar stories from Madagascar to Tierra del Fuego. Of course our freedom has been bought: we are the tourist that the man and woman over the next dune are trying to avoid. For all our unique experiences, there is someone around the corner having much the same. And yet we need travel.

In The Attractions of France, a brief piece found after his death, Bruce Chatwin writes a short story about Africa. In it an Arab boy with “hard thighs” tells the narrator that he is:

“From Atar,” he said, “I will go to Villa Cissneros. I will take a ship to Gran Canaria. I will go to France, to Yugoslavia, to China, and continue my profession.”
“As sanitary engineer?”
“No, Monsieur. As adventurer. I will see all the peoples and all the countries of the world.”

Is this not all of our dreams?

And now there is Google Earth. All three women use the internet every day, but worry about its hermetic nature. “The kids now, so aggressive, so forceful. I think it is the games.” Kitty says.

She has been to Australia, which changed her way of seeing the world: “it is beautiful, but it is not a place for shy people. I learnt not to be shy.”

Now all three are “not shy”, there is communality as they speak, a shared confident view. “I think all of us northern Europeans need lightness sometimes, the sun,” Esra says. “Even just to go to Spain.”

I thank all three for their time. “No, it is different. Meeting new people. We saw your boots, we knew you were “travelling.” ‘

“We thought you were a writer,” Chantal says.

Sometimes I think the same.

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